Finding the Root – Rain in the Forecast
Everything we do in life affects our self esteem, and vice versa. Whether it is divorce, health problems, a fight with a friend, long periods of depression, job loss, or a general lack of control. People who have problems with controlling themselves seem to all have this in common. In most cases, they are the victim of emotional, sexual, physical abuse. or discrimination, verbal abuse, or long periods of fear and/or stress.
Help is Here – They’re Finding Out About Us
If any of this describes you, seek help from a counselor or mental health care professional. It will help tremendously just to have someone you can get it off your chest with, in fact, you may end up finding out that you feel something totally different. It may be hard getting just the right help. Heck, my “doctor” won’t even talk to me. He wants to get me in and out in 10 minutes, and I feel like he’s rushing just to give me meds and shut me up you know? When you get down to the core of the problem with someone, it shows starts to show you a lot of things that will feel totally different, and even turn into immeasurable gifts in the end after the fog clears, and you forgive everyone, and enjoy what you HAVE.
The Takeover – What Happens if We Don’t Catch It
What happens over time, when these types of changes occur due to some sort of shock or abuse, is they go unattended, too hard to get over, and embedding themselves in out senses, emotions, smiles, eyes, and everyday behavior, as well as messing up anything like a friendship, relationship, or job until they finally shut us down, and we are at that point probably diagnosed with one or more mental illnesses, and forever damaged, depressed, or worse severe psychotic, and in and out of periods and episodes of unspeakable despair. This is all happening to people, because they don’t know how to talk about it. People… Don’t know how to ask us. Until it eats us and we get so bad that they don’t want us anymore.
Without Blame – We Win
The sad thing is it’s nobody’s fault. Honestly, if you look at it from a responsibility level, as earthlings, with all the people that are happy, and all the dreams that are possible, we are still given a hand, are still here with a chance at something, and honestly, being most of us a natural disaster of some kind, we are even lucky enough in a lot of cases to be able to see exactly what happened to us at face value, and totally forgive everyone involved. Some of us didn’t have a choice who we grew up as. It was on the back burner, and for whatever reason, we got hurt, and no one caught it. The good thing is, once we know we’ve been hit and we are different, we can do a number of things to prevent it affecting our lives to the point of taking what’s left as well as what’s missing, and usually it’s really nobody’s fault. For example, you grew up in a very abusive house, and your dad’s dad used to beat on him. He would be innocent. You most likely feel sorry for anyone that hurt you after the fact, because everyone is really better than that. Another good thing is, with help like doctors, psychiatrists and us out here to address it, we can lift up the coming generations higher than ever, and catch them early enough to help them get a grip on it before it takes what matters to them the most… a chance.
The Solution – Playing Smart With the Powers That Be
I have fought this my entire life. I have found happiness even through utter loneliness, depression, hate, fear, and everything else that came against me just because I got hurt by accident. I knew that never made sense. I started noticing at about age 30 that I was thinking all of my past out. I would cry out of no where, I would get highs and lows, and I finally realized what was happening. I was HEALING. I was becoming myself, in a kind of a slow pace. I got out of it. It kept bugging me, until I started doing things about it. So basically, I said “playing smart with the powers that be”, what I meant was knowing that what happened to you was unfair, and wanting it bad enough to not let unfair have your happy ending too.
There are a number of things you can do to boost your self-esteem. I made a list below. Do the ones you are comfortable with, and if you think of any more, feel free to leave comments. This particular disease is probably the worst killer on earth, because of it’s direct connection to probably 90 % of our problems. In one way shape or form, low confidence and low self-esteem are an unseen force of the wickedest evil imaginable. The one that never gives US a chance to be here. “There are none so blind as those who will not see.” John Haywood
1.Write a list of your strong points. All of your good qualities, people you help, accomplishments, anything positive. I know t sounds cheesy, but I have a poster on my wall, that reminds me how much I have going on, to hang on to and work for. A dream board, if you will. It grows every other day.
2.Think positive and know it’s way better than being upset. Read Og Mandino’s “Power of Positive Thinking”. my mom read his books, and was the best at everything she did.
4.Fix yourself up. When you know you look good, it makes a nearly impermeable defense. Anything that could potentially hurt you, you should remove it and replace it with a good thing. Dress up. If you feel good about your outfit, that’s one more thing that can’t hurt, and is lifting you up.
5.It has been proven that eating healthier can make you feel substantially better, so try to eat healthy foods, and drink healthy as well.
6.Exercise. Crucial for your body, and more directly all of your systems, and your feelings. Put your headphones on, please pick an excellent mood, and go walk until your legs hurt. And then walk back. Planet Fitness is only like $20 a month. If you use the Pact app, and go frequently, you can get half off just by running the app. Hiking, running, swimming, sports, etc.
7.Get enough sleep. There are charts online to tell you how much sleep is optimal for your age group. (Like Life Hacker)
8.Relax. Stress kills people. Massage, meditation, sunbathing, etc. Some people get relaxation out of creating, or working on stuff they like really hard.
9.Keep you’re house clean. Set alarms, and hit sleep on the pc, and actually get up and do it. It pays tremendously to be proud of you for any reason, and you “setting” is a term that doctors came up with. It helps.”
10.Do more stuff you enjoy. Like I said pour enough positive in your life, where can negative get in.
11.Go to classes, competitions, etc. You would be surprised how much just being around people like on a hike or at a ceramics class will help. Just a good laugh beats sitting at home getting sunk in eyes from watching all the episodes of 24 I one weekend. LOL
12.Have goals, challenges, and dreams that you are working towards. If you have stuff to brag about, you have a gun aimed at a little dorky self esteem demon that brought a stick. They can’t touch you when you know you’re good.
14.Do something nice for others. I do my own fund at Operation Smile. You can pick anything. Seriously, the air needs help lol.
15.Tell friends and relatives how you feel and get them behind you in your dreams and goals.
16.Try to get out, and meet new people. Maybe if your favorite band comes to town. The Waffle House after a hiking group on Meetup.com or a poetry reading. that way you can pick someone that looks friendly and offer them a coffee or something. You may even be meant to. (Find a best friend)
17.Avoid places where you will stick out, and there are people, dress codes, etc. that make you feel bad. it’s one thing to get tortured unknowingly by some blind idiot. It’s stupidity to hand them the knife.
Look, I’m one of them. And I’m telling you, if we don’t jump these problems, we will never be happy and they will eat us. Don’t say you suck, or you’re a loser, or anything like that. Move UP. Why let another second of it stand in your way, or torture you, when this probably happened by accident, or someone that couldn’t help it. I found the way out. It’s your feelings. It’s you wanting people to understand. It’s your place in the world to talk about it, and try to prevent it from hurting other people. It’s who we are, and we are “IT”. This is said, MANDATORY!